Unlike festivals and anniversaries, birthday is a very different day. Everything associated with this day changes every year. Or every few years. We travel a path from so looking forward to the day to so not looking forward to it.
When we are young, the anticipation starts few months before the day. The gifts, the celebration, who to invite, the cake, the food, the games… we look forward to all of that. As we grow older, the number of invitees becomes selected. The closest friends.
Even more older, it’s the college group. The friends who want to give you a surprise party. Same when we start working. The HR sends the customary mail.
Somewhere along the line, we get into relationships, get out of them. Sometimes this happens between two birthdays. In a relationship, two days that become important your day and your partner’s day.
Kids happen and there are more birthdays. Somewhere along the line, all that associated with your own day starts to diminishes. You spend more and more time prepping for birthdays of others in life.
Also the dread (?) of growing old starts to creep in. From arrogance of youth to fear of end, the day for you is back to being celebrated by people around you. The way it was when you were young. But now there is no anticipation.
I know it’s a very depressing look at such a special day but hey, it’s the truth isn’t it? In this whole process of growing old, we are so focused on the end that at some point we stop enjoying the journey…
As you would have guessed, yes it’s my birthday and am not depressed because I never worry about the end. I look at all the moments that I have had. The good ones, the not so good ones. The ones that made me happy and the ones that left an ache. They have all been part of my journey. And I wouldn’t want my life to be any other way 🙂