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Doomed to fail


Let’s face the truth. We all are doomed to fail. All the efforts that we put in towards what we call success in life, are nothing but efforts to delay the inevitable.

Let’s take an example. Example of life. Will death be considered our failure to live? If so, then since our birth till we die, all our efforts for a better health and life are nothing but efforts to delay the failure.

Business for example. Every business has a cycle. The ups and downs. A trajectory that almost always spirals downward. The attempts are made to stop the trajectory from flatlining.

Brands constantly reinvent themselves and make themselves relevant to new consumers so that they don’t disappear into oblivion.

Business and brands have a role to play hence they must keep on doing what they are supposed to do. What matters to me is life and living.

In our effort to delay the inevitable, we focus so much on all the effort that is required, we stop living. We are more bothered about death and afterlife that we don’t even realise we are putting this life to waste. What is the point of living to be 100? What are we going to achieve? If anything, we are putting pressure on the eco system and thereby whole lot of other people who have to work even harder to go on living.

Same thing with relationships. We all want our relationships to succeed. To end a relationship is to accept that it has failed. Hence we focus very hard on making it work. We don’t realise that the spontaneity that existed at the beginning, we have killed it by making an effort to make it work.

But I guess that is how we are wired by the social construct. We are not supposed to FAIL. The education system, the professional life… they all instil in is the stigmas of failure and we carry that into our personal life too.

This post is totally random and stems from something I read about failure.

Stumbling through life


We all like to believe that life is about stability. Life is about moving at a comfortable pace.

But do we ever get that? Do we ever lead a stable life?

Look around you. Look at yourself. Are you leading a stable life? Or are you in a big rush to get somewhere, whether as a physical destination or as a life goal.

We work ourselves to the ground in order to achieve the mythical stability. We put pressure on ourselves. We put pressure on people around us. We never quite get that stability.

Stability for most is rooted in money. Steady job. Steady pay check. Steady life partner. So we slog. At the job and at maintaining relationships. In this day and age, neither are stable. There are always undercurrents that keep us insecure.

We may feel we are stable but the truth is that we are stumbling through life. Towards what constitutes as stable.

Think about it. How much money would you need till you consider enough is enough. Now I am going to slow down. Relationships too. If things get stable, they become predictable and boring. But hey, isn’t that what you wanted? Stable relationship. So don’t crib now by saying that the spark has gone.

Maybe if we were to reconcile ourselves to the fact that there is no such thing as stability, we just might find it?

Why is it that we seek mundanity when life is so much more? Why should the next day be no different than today? Why shouldn’t every day be different.

Was working on something the other day. What if like the start button in many of the cars and bikes today, life also had a start button and we pressed a reset every morning over the previous day? During the discussion we were having, one of the people mentioned this movie “Fifty First Dates”. Haven’t watched the movie but the concept sounds interesting. Of course in the movie the female lead has a memory problem. But what if we were to reset every day. What will happen?

Now am not saying this in an absolute sense where it happens. But in our heads. In our minds we reset every day. Will our lives be any different? Will we live our life? Or will we prefer our life to pass us by in the name of stability.

How far will you go


Utterly random.

How far will you go to get what you want?

What will you do if all your efforts are not getting you what you want?

How much will you give up to get the one thing you want?

How much will you compromise on your principles to get what you want?

How many toes will you step on, people you will hurt to achieve what you want?

Will you cheat, will you lie, will you bribe, will you let go of your morality, will you kill yourself inside every minute… just so you get that one thing.

Once you get what you wanted, will it make you happy, will you cherish it, will it be worth everything you had to do and give up.

 

Keeping up


It has really been a long long time that I have posted every day of the week. So I figured, let’s make this 5 days in a row.

As the title suggests, it is tough keeping up.

Keeping up with the way the world is changing (yeah yeah am getting old).

It’s tough keeping up with things that matter.

It’s tough keeping up with people who don’t matter.

It’s tough keeping up with expectations – your own and of the others.

It’s tough keeping up with societal mores (increasingly these mores are leading to stress in lives of many people).

What is our aim in life? It’s a serious question.

Strip yourself off the predictable answers about success at work and in relationships and then ponder over the question.

Strip away the usual answers that come to your head about being human or larger good. Strip away answers that come to your head that sound politically correct.

What have you got left? Nothing.

So why are you keeping up with everything that doesn’t really matter in your life? Why are you putting up a facade?

Isn’t it time you really gave it some thought.

Swimming pool is closed


Back in the days when we lived in a world which was clean and unpolluted, its the change in the fragrance that symbolised change of weather.

These fragrances, hard to describe, heralded the onset of a season. The subtle shifts in temperature when we moved from winter into spring and then into summer or when we moved into winter.

The shifts, subtle yet so sensorial, we loved them.

Spring cleaning and warm clothes being given lot of airing before being packed or being put in the sun to remove the smell of nephthaline balls as preparation for winters.

All the cues of the change were out there for us to smell and to see and feel.

The symbols have changed. “Swimming pool is closed” notice on the society notice board tells us we are moving into winter. Or in March “swimming will open from…” tells us that it’s time for summer.

The clearing sales by various brands are another signal of a change. The conditioned air in offices and people complaining that it’s either too hot or too cold are signals of change.

There are no fragrances in the air or the perceptible shift in the temperature anymore. More than that, we don’t have time to feel any of that.

The day we made one screen our window to the world, is the day everything changed. Now our world is just size of the screen. The weather app tells us the weather. Posts and tweets tell us of the changes. Detailed weather charts tell us of the summer or winter or the monsoon.

Pollution has played havoc (we are to be blamed of course. Let’s not try to shift the blame anywhere else) and made the fragrances disappear. The temperatures don’t change much. Winter is just about two weeks of intense cold. Summer just doesn’t go away.

I am not going to get into the role food plays with the changes in season because that will make this post never ending, given the foodie I am 🙂

So here is to the onset of winter – swimming pool is closed.

Battered car


I have always been fascinated by life pretty much being as an automobile. Everybody knows that the car we buy symbolises the shift in our life stage.

I believe a car or any vehicle for that matter are far more connected with life in terms of how it all pans out. Especially in relationships and professional life.

The car is new, everyone is so excited, the smell of the new car is quite something. We all want to go take the ride, feel the engine hum softly, the speed thrills and so does the entire interior and all the different things one can do with technology. Then over a period of time, from being exciting new experience, it shifts into a mundanity of driving from point A to point B. Neglect comes into play. From getting the car serviced on time every time, we move into as and when we have time. The charm is gone. At some point we decide that the car has done whatever it could and we change it and the romance starts all over again.

Isn’t that what happens with our relationships and in work environment? Once the newness wears off, the romance dies, it’s a mundane day every day. Of course in the case of a relationship, we can’t just let go of the current one and get into a new one.

But workplace, either we change the job or the other part believes that we as a car have done enough and it’s time to change. So we are consigned to the junkyard called fired and jobless. For the organisation, they get a spanking new person and new romance begins.

In relationships and in our life journey, it is not easy to just get rid of old. You can’t get a new body for yourself just because this one is getting old. So either you spruce up (akin to denting and painting) or you keep yourself fit, the way you would ensure your car is fit with regular workshop visits.

Relationships though are even tougher. You can’t sell one and buy another. No matter how bruised or battered, you carry on. Flirting along the way is like taking a cab instead of driving. Your indulgence. But you always drive the old car.

A DISCLAIMER HERE – there is no gender discussion here. Irrespective of the gender, this car and life hold true.

So why this post. I was looking at my battered and beaten up Xylo (my son says it looks as if I had participated in Demolition Derby) and realised the age of the car and how it continues to carry on even after 100,000 kms is quite similar to how I feel. The ageing of the body and mind is inevitable as the odometer keeps clicking. How I am doing things to stay agile in the mind and physically to make myself go that much more further. Why am I doing that? So that I can beat the redundancy and not be pushed into the scrapyard. After all there is still a whole lot of commuting to do and miles to go (won’t say before I sleep)…

Yes at some point in time, when my next life stage is going to be defined, I will change the xylo. As with Stephen King books (where you pick up a book when it is time), I don’t think there has been a signal yet that there is a change in my life.

Also at an emotional level, I am way too attached to my car (a monstrosity even when it was new). The idea of selling it doesn’t sit well.

And also, we get along very well. We both look battered and bruised. We look good together. I haven’t done much to improve the battered look of the car, nor have I changed my look in anyway. The car and me, are not for the shallow people who only want new and shining all the time 🙂

As an aside, do read or watch Christine by Stephen King.

Those were the days


First up, I would like to thank my friend Ashu Sabharwal for sending me a link to songs from a different era. It was a trip down memory lane. The days of listening to western songs on “Forces Request” on AIR. 7 or perhaps 8 songs in one hour with endless dedications interrupting.

The title of the post is from a song by Mary Hopkins in 1968.

“Those were the days”, we all reminisce once we cross an age when we have teenage kids. We try very hard to tell them how our lives were as exciting if not more as compared to their lives now. We are trying to compete because deep inside, we are jealous. Jealous of their lives in this new age where it is very easy to be spontaneous and impulsive. More importantly, it is perfectly fine to give in to an impulse.

“Those were the days” is not actually us thinking about the wonderful childhood. It is more about realising how dull it was compared to the lives kids have today. Yeah yeah we all can rationalise that by saying we didn’t have kind of stress that exists today.

Today when the kids argue with us, we are not upset that they are arguing with us. We are upset that we were not as strong willed or confident when we were kids. We never dared to voice our opinion or discontent.

“Those were the days” we tell our kids when we studied so much and spent endless hours with our books. The truth is that we didn’t have anything else to do! Today the kids don’t need to spend that much of time because their awareness due to technology is way more than ours used to be.

“Those were the days” is our way of holding on to our youth in our memories. It’s probably our “go-to” place to escape our current lives full of stress.

Heart of hearts, we wish we were born couple of decades later to maximise everything that this world has to offer. We want TARDIS. Travel back in time to relive our lives. Ain’t gonna happen.