A New beginning


So let’s get this over with. New Year Day. Full of hope and optimism and looking forward to new beginning and excitement of what lies ahead. Love the whole feeling!

But hang on… didn’t we feel the same on first day of 2018? Or 2017 or 2016 or…?

How many new beginnings are we gonna have? 🙂

This whole thing feels so much like the game Temple Run. Keep moving through the levels or running endlessly. Getting happy about a gem, a chest, meters run, power ups etc etc. it’s endless. Game is endless but life isn’t.

So for us, every new year day starts at high energy and as the days go by, it starts dipping. Small energy spikes when something good happens (not too often) and all the disappointments that sap the energy out and we look at the New Year Day as the recharge.

It’s funny though that we keep looking for “days” as the rallying points in our lives. Endless list created for consumption by Hallmark and Archie’s of the world 🙂

For me, hell yeah! Another new beginning. And am hoping that this truly is one. I don’t think I can stand yet another beginning on the first day of 2020!

Hope


That is what supposedly keeps us going.

And we kind of attach it to specific days. And it goes without saying that the beginning of any year is when we hope that the next 365 days would be the best of our lives. And this is just the beginning. Then follows Valentine’s day, Woman’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Daughter’s Day, Independence Day, Dussera Day, Diwali, (not to forget 2nd Dec which me and my son have got as Son’s Day) and Christmas and then New Year’s Day all over again…And every of those mentioned days is about hope… for a better relationship, for better prospects… so on and so forth… We keep hoping… keep expecting… that something will happen. And while we are doing that, we let the life pass us by because we are all so focused on our hopes and aspirations and expectations.

Needless to say that we do not get everything we hoped for and as the year progresses, hope turns into despair. And we begin the cycle all over again.

We make resolutions to change… to do things differently.. to be a different person.. to give up on something. But the resolutions don’t last very long. Ever wondered why? We are looking for a quick fix and nothing in life, except for crappy food at fast food chains, is a quick fix. Good things in life are a slow burn… and because we do not have patience, we give up… give up very easily.

We are not ready to wait… We are not ready to let the life take its own course. We want to push it in a certain direction (fooling ourselves that we are hoping) and when it doesn’t move in the way we want to, our hope turns into despair… into depression. We blame people, circumstance, God (if we had been praying) and everything possible that we can lay our blame on. Everyone and everything but ourselves because for us, we are never responsible… we always had good intentions in everything we did so it is not our fault.

Why this post on 1st January? Because a whole lot of people since yesterday have asked me what is my resolution and everyone gives me a weird look when I say I don’t make resolutions. I don’t need a day to decide what I am going to do with my life. I will rather focus on life itself than to focus on getting a 100 things through the year… I will rather live from one moment to another… from one day to another and not think of what will happen on day 60th or day 365th… way too much stress for my tired old brain!