What have you done for me?


That’s how the world works.

We always look for an exchange. A transaction. Not just in professional life but even in personal life.

“Do me a favour” has an unsaid that the favour will be returned.

Nobody does nothing without an end game in mind.

It’s not just about money or moving up in life. It’s about everything. “I made the coffee yesterday”

And the worst part, we are teaching our kids too. We call it reward but actually we are teaching them how life is transactional.

When did we stop being selfless? And no it is not about charity or a social cause. That is not being selfless. There is a transaction there too.

We all like to believe it’s not true and can peddle arguments about our selfless acts. But hang on… the fact that you can actually list down those acts, suggests that you are banking them for some future gain.

And no, am not holier than thou to think am selfless. It’s just that I seem to have done lot more favours than got them so hell yeah! Am miffed 🙂

Pain


  

On a flight again with nothing better to do so here we go with another post.

House of cards Season 4 is starting and it is a perfect time to reaquaint ourselves with ruthless and unscrupulous Francis Underwood.

First two minutes of Season 1 Episode 1 established the kind of personality he is. And he has not disappointed us through all the seasons.

The quote above is his first address to us.

So let’s talk about pain.

We like pain. Of both kinds that he mentions. The one that makes us strong and the one that is only suffering. Because we like what it helps us do. 

In the first case, we like to gloat and tell the world that we are strong because we have experienced intense pain. Could be physical or emotional and we use it accordingly to put forth our point and be perceived as a hero. History is replete with so called success stories of athletes who went through pain and came back ‘stronger’. Or of individuals who went through emotional trauma and supposedly became strong. I think the physical pain, one can overcome and have medication to get well. Emotional trauma, people are only fooling themselves that they have become strong. Emotions are like powder keg… Waiting to catch fire and blow you apart. We like to believe we can take anything on.. It isn’t so. We collapse at the slightest hint of emotional pain.

The other pain, the one he calls useless is really useless but very useful for those who love to live their life in self pity. They use the pain as a crutch and pretend to be physically or emotionally invalid so that people will gravitate around them to help. For them, something is amiss in their life if they feel happy so pain is made constant.. Even a fake pain.

And I say screw the pain. Why should it be used for anything at all. Both pains are useless. They have absolutely no purpose to serve but to be used as a tool. We get delusional by the power of pain. And the impact it has on people who care for us.

Anything that causes pain, should be turned into a surgical cut and out of our lives.. We don’t need these crutches to get what we want. 

Hell I so want to be Francis Underwood! Utter lack of morals in getting what he wants. Sure no life is easy but hey I think it would be lot more fun. Not having to worry about others but only about self. Maybe it is time for that.. Maybe not but after having lived the nice way most of our lives (following what is correct, what is right, living for others) it’s time to live for ourselves and let others do things for you?

For once… I would love to be utterly selfish, morally corrupt and then see what the world view is and how the world views me.. It is an experiment that will go against everything I am as a person when as old as I am, why not walk the other side of the tracks and tick that box off too on the checklist of life. I would also like to say that I have no patience for useless things. For me it would be pain itself.

Would any of you do that? Or let’s rephrase the question.. Would any of you even answer that question in affirmative? Because to answer that as a yes, would mean that the world would know what you think and you are so afraid to be judged by the world.

Sacrifice


Most of my posts are utterly random and make no sense at all. There is no deeper meaning that should be ascribed. But as a reader, you might find something that connects with you at some level. The way I write these posts, something just comes to my mind and I type it out. Also I do not read through what I have typed… Nor do I edit what I have got here. So grammatical errors or typos to be excused.

So when was the last time you made a sacrifice. And let’s not talk petty stuff. And let’s not even talk stuff that you want to talk about by way of puffery.

When was the last time you did something for someone. Knowing fully well that the someone will get what he or she wants but you will not get what you want because that is what it is… You sacrificed yourself for that someone.

Oh and before anyone things this post is about mush kinda sacrifice, nope it is not.. That is just one part of it.. There are many other occasions in our lives where we have to give up something so that someone out there gets what they want.

Typically, we like to play a  martyr. Even if we do a minor thing, we want the world to know. We want kudos.. We want our ‘sacrifice’ to be known and appreciated. Specifically by the person it was meant for.

And you know why this is? Because deep down, we are all selfish. A selfless act doesn’t sit well in our psyche. Being good without asking anything in return is an aberration. So at some other level, the reason we feel the need to talk about what we have done, is also expecting that when the time comes, the person will do the same. Not very selfless right? Not even a sacrifice.

A selfless act of giving up is one where the people it was meant for, they get what they want without knowing about what you did for them. Walking away for happiness of someone is the most difficult thing to do…  That is true sacrifice.. Its not what you did.. But you walked away and did not ask for acknowledgment.

So when was the last time you did something like this? Probably never.

And if an opportunity comes your way to do that.. Will you? Probably not.