We all like to believe that life is about stability. Life is about moving at a comfortable pace.
But do we ever get that? Do we ever lead a stable life?
Look around you. Look at yourself. Are you leading a stable life? Or are you in a big rush to get somewhere, whether as a physical destination or as a life goal.
We work ourselves to the ground in order to achieve the mythical stability. We put pressure on ourselves. We put pressure on people around us. We never quite get that stability.
Stability for most is rooted in money. Steady job. Steady pay check. Steady life partner. So we slog. At the job and at maintaining relationships. In this day and age, neither are stable. There are always undercurrents that keep us insecure.
We may feel we are stable but the truth is that we are stumbling through life. Towards what constitutes as stable.
Think about it. How much money would you need till you consider enough is enough. Now I am going to slow down. Relationships too. If things get stable, they become predictable and boring. But hey, isn’t that what you wanted? Stable relationship. So don’t crib now by saying that the spark has gone.
Maybe if we were to reconcile ourselves to the fact that there is no such thing as stability, we just might find it?
Why is it that we seek mundanity when life is so much more? Why should the next day be no different than today? Why shouldn’t every day be different.
Was working on something the other day. What if like the start button in many of the cars and bikes today, life also had a start button and we pressed a reset every morning over the previous day? During the discussion we were having, one of the people mentioned this movie “Fifty First Dates”. Haven’t watched the movie but the concept sounds interesting. Of course in the movie the female lead has a memory problem. But what if we were to reset every day. What will happen?
Now am not saying this in an absolute sense where it happens. But in our heads. In our minds we reset every day. Will our lives be any different? Will we live our life? Or will we prefer our life to pass us by in the name of stability.
We all have our comfort zones and we love them. They provide a sense of security and a walls that keep us away from all the supposed stress and bad things.
We fall in love with our comfort zones so much that we turn it into a fortress. We believe we are protecting ourselves but what we are doing essentially is saying no to a whole lot of things. We are rationalising our behaviour. Stepping out, bringing the walls down takes a lot of courage. We look for reasons not to do so. If we were to toss a coin, we will go through “best of three”, “best of five”…
What is a comfort zone really? The obvious answer of course is everything that makes us comfortable. People, things, products, service, our habits, our culture. You can add or delete to the list but this list essentially forms our comfort zone. We do try once in a while to push the wall on one of the things. Test ourself out. If it works, we will push further. But if it doesn’t, the barriers are raised.
But enough has been said and written about this, so wont go on and on.
Coming to the reason for this post. I have decided to test its limits. I am going to give up on smoking, drinking, non vegetarian food and sweets. People who have read my blog regularly would now my complete love for nicotine and how I look at it. The ones who know me well enough, they know what a big foodie I am and how non vegetarian food is such an integral part of me being foodie! And I do like my beer too. Sweets I have always been partial to desi sweets. Four things in one go. I am really going to test myself. And test the patience of people around me!
So lets see how it goes. I am going to work on the quarter principle. One quarter at a time. Forever sounds like a huge task and I don’t want forever. So breaking it down into smaller goals.
That’s a life lesson by the way. Do not aim for something really big and plan for it. Yes that is the ultimate goal but focus on smaller steps that will get you there. We usually do not do that. We aim for the big goal and create stress for ourselves when it takes time to reach there.
So here goes with my experiment of stepping out of the comfort zone. If this succeeds, there are more things to do. 🙂
Every decision that you take, either will be a success or a failure. There are no half measure. There is no point in being almost successful. It’s a failure.
Most people, while they want success, they are planning for failure. Looking at all factors to mitigate risks. We do this not just in business situations but also in personal life. We prefer to tread path which involves very low risk or no risk at all. We shy away from tough decisions. We don’t want to get out of our comfort zone. We look for excuses that will help us rationalise our thinking.
I know enough has been said and written about this.
But hey, 50:50… don’t you think those are great percentages??
You could do all the analysis in the world and yet not account for being blindsided by something that you did not take into account at all! That one factor which you were not aware of. Was not even on the horizon as a threat. Similarly that one factor that would have led to immense success but you could not see it and hence chose not to walk down that path.
The point is, you can’t plan for failure and hope for success.
The trick is to play the odds. Either you are a roaring success or a spectacular failure. Either way, you would have learnt something.
So why don’t we take the chance? Fear of failure. Fear of upsetting the status quo. Fear of losing it all that we have right now.
I know I am guilty of not taking risks myself. Well I have, but not when they mattered the most. There is time for a change.
So yes, after spending years with Android, I also fell for iOS!
It is like stepping out of the comfort zone.
Isn’t this true for most of us?
We get too comfortable with our status quo. Peddle out excuses for not changing. Even if things are not alright, we continue to exist. Refusing to accept the new. Refusing to accept that life needs a change. Happy to (no not happy but perhaps resigning ourselves) continue with our life the way it is.
I was the same. I refused to accept any argument against Android. Kept saying I will never shift to iOS.
And then figured… what the hell… let me take the plunge. Let me change something. Let me step out and look at life in a different way. It is strange isn’t it? How I am talking about life in the context of an operating system. But that is what our lives have become, given how much interaction we have today with screens vs real people.
We connect more with people through the screen than in real life. Because what is beyond the screen, doesn’t give us enough time to interact up close and personal with people we would like to interact with. We start living on multiple levels.. what is happening around us and what is happening on the screen. Lines between real and virtual increasingly get blurred.
I guess when nothing big is happening in life right now, changing the operating system perhaps is a little pleasure of making a change. Who knows, it could be a harbinger of change in the life beyond screen too!
It has been less than a day and the struggle is real to adapt but hell yes! it is exciting : )
(image courtesy blackchilled.com)
When life goes on hold, it can be an unnerving feeling. It is almost like being in limbo. Not sure where you are… where you going… what is going to happen next. There is a kind of nothingness… a vacuum.
Sometime it is the environment that does that to you… sometime you choose to put everything on hold because there is so much inside you that you don’t know what to do, how to move forward or go back in time or maintain a status quo
Most of my posts are a function of too much inside my head…built up over a period of time and suddenly there is a rush… though none of the posts are actually thought over a period of time and then typed out… The feeling is just about getting the fingers moving on the keyboard to keep pace with everything in the head…
But am going to keep these posts on a hold for a while… people are saying there is perhaps anger inside me… perhaps am too restless… maybe i am angry and restless… maybe I am not… maybe am just too disenchanted.. or to paraphrase something I read, am lost in the jungle of time and space…even I don’t know. So till I know… posts on hold…